Creating a family has to do with you and your spouse or partner. Bill Cosby has a most eloquent quote, "Having a child is the most beautifully irrational act two people in love can commit."
Many times this love is so overwhelming, we tend to overlook the logistics of actually having a child and creating a nurturing environment for them, both inside the womb and out in "real life."
Having a conversation is the most important thing couples need to have before starting to try to create a family. Here are just a few questions and things that should be considered:
- Are we ready to have a baby? and When do we want to start trying?
- What are the expectations of each partner during pregnancy, labor & delivery, and after the baby is born?
- What are some of the values you have that will influence your decisions on location of delivery, vaccinations or not, circumcision or not, style of parenting, etc?
Now, many of these conversations may or may not be high stress, some of them can really get a person fired up! I've seen way to many mommies get very serious and mean on social forums voicing their beliefs, so don't pretend that it probably won't happen in your own home. Make sure you sit down with the same open heart you plan on creating that baby with to have the conversation with the person you're planning on spending the rest of your life with!
Here's the important part, you need to start and finish the conversation when it comes to the first question I mentioned, but for the rest of them, you just need to get started and get to a point where you're comfortable where you see things heading.. You don't need answers now, you should really be opening dialogue for you to get a clear picture of where you see the next year or so going for you.
The reason for this is that stress really can have a huge impact on your body. If you start the conversation now, it means less stress on you, and for the most part completely avoiding stress on your developing baby. It also helps prevent what I like to call "unexpected lack of fulfillment of assumed expectations," most simply meaning, both parties are thinking, "Well I just thought...."
Now, there are so many other questions that should really be considered, but there are just too many to get through on this little post. I hope you'll join us for the first in my "Fertility by Design" Workshop series next month. Blog post and event page with be up soon!
If you haven't already, make sure to join me on Facebook! I'd love to be able to share as much as I can with you about preparing yourself to create the family of your dreams!