I remember when I first started thinking about having a baby. While I did have my own fears about becoming a mommy, I was also fearful that my husband might not be ready to become a daddy. I was so afraid to bring up the conversation that I started preparing my baby’s first home for 6 months before I got the courage to ask.
The journey to Mamahood is full of different fears that need to be addressed before you can really move past them and into a state of ‘Let’s Do This” It’s not really about letting the fears go completely as it is trusting yourself to handle the outcomes of your perceived fears.
The first question that usually arises is “Am I ready?”
My first step is to sit down and really think about what brought me to this question in the first place. Did I see other friends starting a family? Did I notice a physical or emotional yearning to have a baby growing inside me, or a need to be responsible for someone other than myself?
Do you have any fears around this? A great way I managed to work through my fears was through reflection and journaling. It’s surprising how writing down what you fear makes it visually look at lot more manageable. Same philosophy as a “to do” list I imagine! As you write down what you’re feeling, you can un-clutter the many thoughts running though your mind and process through what you know about yourself to be able to trust yourself through the process.
After you process your own feelings of fear, it’s crucial to work through this process with your partner. The easiest way to do this is really to just sit down and have a conversation. Surprisingly, though we can talk about so many different aspects of life and love, many couples have trouble sitting down and having a serious conversation about their wants and needs. Are you two on the same page? What do each of you need to be able to get to the same page? Is this just a matter of reassurance or making lifestyle changes? Is it financial? All of the above?
I will completely agree with every person out there that you will never be financially ready to have a baby, but maybe the comfort will come from learning how to properly budget your lifestyle so that you can have some focus and be able to look at a bigger picture. Whatever is holding the two of you from moving forward, its important that you talk with each other so that you can continue to have open communication not only though this process of preparation, but also into the future as you become parents.
Do you have any other fears about becoming a parent? Share them with me below and lets talk about them!